Thursday, December 3, 2009

Holiday Traditions





Traditions are an important part of any holiday but it can be hard as a birthmother because your child will be participating in his/her adoptive family’s traditions and those may not be the same traditions that you have grown a custom to. But you can create some special traditions as a birthmother.

Coley’s Ornament Tradition



One tradition I’ve created for Charlie is to give him a special ornament each year at Christmas. I originally didn't plan on it becoming a tradition but it has turned out that way. 


When searching for something to give Charlie his first Christmas, I came across a really neat Precious Moments Christmas “Baby’s First Christmas” ornament that had a spot to write his name, birth date, weight, and length. I purchased the ornament and thought what a neat keepsake item it would be for him to have one day in the future.

The next Christmas it only seemed natural to give him another ornament, thus it has become a yearly tradition. I plan to continue this ornament tradition for years to come and when he is all grown up and leaves home, he will have years worth of ornaments to put on his own Christmas tree.



Lani's Verse Tradition





I have always loved family traditions and thought it would be great to still have a part of that in my birth child’s life.  Since the time she was born I started a  neat tradition that I do periodically when I send her gifts. I have a special Bible verse (James 1:17, Every good and perfect gift comes from God.) that is kind of like my thoughts about her.


Over the years I have given her different things that have that special verse on it such as a blanket with the verse embroidered on it, a stuffed bunny with the verse embroidered on it, etc..  One day I hope that she will see the link in all these things and know that time, thought, and love was put into it.   




We both encourage each of you to find some sort of tradition that you can do over the years for your child. Even if you are in a closed adoption you could still do something and just save it for the day when you are reunited.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Music Monday: Hero

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Sunday Inspiration: You are Here by God's Choice




You are Here by God's Choice
by Roy Lessin

Just think,
you’re not here by chance, 
but by God’s choosing. 
His hand formed you and
made you the person you are.
He compares you to no one else-
you are one of a kind. 
You lack nothing that His 
grace can’t give you. 
He has allowed you to be here
at this time in history
to fulfill His special purpose
for this generation.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Music Monday: Keep Holding On



This is a song featured in the television show "Glee". If you watch the show, you know this is the song that the glee club sings when they want to show pregnant cheerleader Quinn that they support her-adoption situation and all. When choosing to become a birthmother, you really do find out who your friends are.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Music Monday: Get Up by Superchick



This song really inspires me when I'm in a sad mood or feel like I just can't fight any more battles. I hope it does the same for you, wonderful readers.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Quote of the Week: Dance in the Rain



"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain." 

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Adoption-ology

As you are educating yourself on adoption you may run across terms that you are unfamiliar to you. Below is a list of some of those terms along with their definitions.

  • Adoption decree – Legal order that finalizes the adoption to the adoptive parents
  • Birthparents, Birthmother, and Birthfather – Refers to the people who biologically created the child. NOTE: There are also other terms that can be used to refer to a birthmother such as first mom or life mom. Birthmom just happens to be the one most commonly used. Also, you are not a birthmother until you sign relinquishment papers. Until that moment, you are simply an expectant mother considering adoption.
  • Closed adoption – Birth parents do not meet the adoptive parents and no contact is maintained after the birth and placement of the child.
  • Confidential Adoption - A more up-to-date term for closed adoption.
  • Familial adoption – Adoptions in which the adoptive parents and birthparents are related in some way (Also known as kinship adoption, relative adoption, or interfamily adoption.)
  • Home study – Assessment of the adoptive parents’ ability to provide a healthy and happy home. All adoptive parents must complete a home study before adopting. The home study includes background checks, doctors’ reports, financial information, etc.. and is conducted by a licensed social worker.
  • Open adoption – Refers to adoptions where the birth parents and adoptive parents have met and have some level of ongoing contact with each other. Contact can include letters, pictures, visits, etc. NOTE: In most states, open adoptions are NOT legally enforceable.
  • Openness Agreement – Document that states the intended amount of contact in an open adoption between the adoptive parents and the birthparents. NOTE: These are not legally enforceable.
  • Relinquishment papers – A legal document that birth parents must sign terminating their parental rights. NOTE: The laws regarding when a parent can sign relinquishment papers vary in each state.
  • Semi open adoption – Birthparents and adoptive parents may meet prior to the birth of the child, but typically do not know identifying information about each other. Contact can be maintained through a 3rd party.
  • Triad – Term used to describe the 3 parties represented in adoptions: the birthparents, the adoptive parents, and the adopted child.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Music Monday: The Mothers in my Life

Sunday, November 8, 2009

November Newsletter


The November Newsletter is now up.
Check it out!

www.birthmombuds.com/nov2009.htm

Quote of the Week: Music in the Trees


"There is music in the leaves of trees but you must be still to hear it."
- Unknown



Photo Credit: Coley S.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Music Monday on Tuesday: Held by Natalie Grant

We're late with Music Monday this week! But better late than never, eh? ;)

Enjoy!



Monday, November 2, 2009

Quote of the Week: New Ending


"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning but anyone can start today and make a new ending." - Maria Robinson


Monday, October 26, 2009

Music Monday: Find Your Wings

For this week's Music Monday, I chose the Mark Harris song Find Your Wings............



Sunday, October 25, 2009

Quote of the Week: Rise when You Fall


"Our greatest journey is not in never failing but in rising every time we fall."

~ Confucius

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Sinner or Saint?


It seems like when society is thinking about birthmothers we often fit into one of two categories. We are either a sinner or a saint.

Some of us are viewed as sinners because we were unwed at the time we unexpectedly became pregnant so we committed what many view as a “sin” by getting pregnant. We are sinners because we shamed our families by getting pregnant. We are sinners because we did the unthinkable and “gave our babies away.” Some of you may be thinking that people don’t think that sort of thing in this day and age and granted that line of thinking probably isn’t as near as common as it once was, some people still do think that way.

Then there is the flip side of the coin. There are those who view me as a “saint,” an “angel,” or whatever similar word of their choosing. They say how happy I made Charlie’s adoptive family, what a blessing it is for me to be in their (Charlie’s family) lives, etc. They also tell me that I am brave and courageous. Yes it is true, that making an adoption plan for Charlie made his family happy but that wasn’t why I made an adoption plan. I also didn’t make an adoption plan in order to be angelic or saintly and most days I don’t feel very brave or courageous. I did it because it was what I felt was the best decision for Charlie and all involved at that time in my life.

Where do I view myself on the sinner or saint issue? I’m neither. I’m just a girl and a Mother who made some mistakes (not Charlie, but the acts that led up to his conception) and then did what she felt was best for both of her children.


Photo Credit