Monday, April 21, 2014

Music Monday: Let it Be by The Beatles

"And when all the brokenhearted people
Living in the world agree
There will be an answer, let it be
For though they may be parted
There is still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be"

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Quote of the Week: Failure


“Failure is so important. We speak about success all the time. It is the ability to resist failure or use failure that often leads to greater success. I’ve met people who don’t want to try for fear of failing.”

Thursday, April 17, 2014


The thing that has hit me about Easter the past few years is really simple. Growing up in church, I've heard the Easter story my whole life although I never really understood where the big furry bunny comes into play. But even the eggs make sense to me signifying new life.

The Christian Bible claims that Jesus went to the Cross, was killed, buried and dead for three days. But then he rose from the grave conquering death once and for all. It's so overwhelming and even at my age, I still grapple with some of the logistics of Holy Week.

On Sunday my pastor preached on the traditional passage from Luke 11 that has Jesus entering the city on the back of a donkey and people waving palm branches. But he also taught that Jesus went into the temple and looked around before going home. According to my pastor, Jesus was looking around to see if the temple, his people, were ready for him to be revealed. And they were found lacking.

Now, at this point I want to stop and just say that if it were me, I would have thrown in the towel. I would have thought something like, "My temple is not ready and it never will be," and I would have just kept on walking.

But not Jesus. He knew his people weren't ready. He knew they never would be. And he knew that all those people who had just welcomed him into the city with palm branches and chants would murder him before the week was over. And he still chose to do it. He chose to be tortured. He chose to die.

I don't know if you know this Jesus Christ of the Bible. I hope you do. If you don't, I hope you will take time to think about your decision this week. He went to the cross for me. For you. So we don't have to manage on our own any more.

Happy Easter!

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Monday, April 14, 2014

Music Monday: Never Grow Up by Taylor Swift

"Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
It could stay this simple"

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Quote of the Week: Within


“All love begins with the love within.” 

Thursday, April 10, 2014

A New Thing about Grief

A new thing about grief hit me recently. That in itself kind of surprised me. Being an expert in the area of grief, rarely anything surprises me anymore. In marking ten years since my father passed, I felt the need to run away. So just like a 5 year-old I packed a bag and ran away. Literally. I went to a place I had never been before because I needed to be alone and wanted to mark the anniversary in my own way.

As I drove out of town, the tears starting falling and I let myself cry. But it wasn't long before I realized that not everything about the past ten years was bad. In fact, there were lots of good parts. The rest of the day kind of turned into a sad-because-you're-gone-but-Hooray!-I've-survived-and-even-thrived celebration. I hiked a nature trail, sat by the water, listened to music, talked to God and laughed out loud.

It's important to let ourselves grieve and mark anniversaries. It looks different for all of us. But it's so healthy to let ourselves feel our feelings, whatever they are, and take care of ourselves.

If you're in a season of grief, take some time for you. Stop caring about what other people think of the way you grieve. Taking time to grieve ensures a healthier you (and me!) going forward.

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Sunday, April 6, 2014

Quote of the Week: Love

"Love is what we were born with, fear is what we learned here."

Monday, March 31, 2014

Music Monday: Pieces by Gary Allen

"We’ve all been lied to
We’ve all been liars
Nothing’s perfect in this world
Everybody’s been burned by the fire
Guess I’m learning
That what breaks you, makes you grow
But I’m not hiding where I’ve been
Gonna let the light shine in
What I don’t need
Gonna let that, let that, let that go"

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Quote of the Week: Don't be Defeated!

"No man is defeated without until he has first been defeated within."

Monday, March 24, 2014

Music Monday: In My Life by The Beatles

"Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more"

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Quote of the Week: Be a First Rate Version of Yourself!


"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else."

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Hold the Line

As you know, I have recently passed through Birthday Season. Now I would like to report that I have once more survived another birthday round unscathed. There have been years that have been peaceful. There have been years when the emotions didn't get the best of me. Unfortunately, that is not my story this year.

If you are joining us at the retreat in May, which I hope you are, I'm planning to host a breakout session on Boundary-setting. That workshop will include the shenanigans of this past week. I mean, I don't want to spoil it for you, but really? Is it really necessary to revisit these things after more than two decades? Apparently so.

And when someone in your circle steps over the boundary, the next logical question is What do I do now? Just so you know, I may be hosting this breakout session, but it's only so that I can relearn this stuff between now and then, because honestly, I'm stuck right now. This person, this boundary-breaker, is an important figure in my life and I'm stuck. They would like to just keep moving forward like nothing happened, but I can't do that. Not only did they step over the line, but they went so far as to call me names and say things to me that aren't true.

So in your experience, what have you done? How do you hold the line while keeping the relationship? It's so tempting to turn my back and walk away. But I'm not doing that. I made up my mind a long time ago that this person was going to be part of my life and I'm sticking to it.

Commercial over. Hope to see you in May. In the meantime, your advice is appreciated.

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Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Support the BMB Retreat

The BirthMom Buds Retreat is quickly approaching, May 2-4, 2014 in Charlotte, North Carolina and the response has been overwhelming thus far. We are currently working to secure additional funds so that more birthmothers can attend this healing weekend retreat. If you'd like to support our efforts, please check out the Go Fund Me Page we have created for this purpose! 

Monday, March 17, 2014

Music Monday: Perfect by Pink

Once or twice
Dug my way out
Blood and fire
Bad decisions
That's alright
Welcome to my silly life
Miss no way it's all good
It didn't slow me down.
Always second guessing
Look I'm still around